Check it twice! A cheeky guide to ensuring your Christmas conduct doesn’t land you on the naughty list.
As the merry bells jingle and the festive season unfolds, it’s time to gear up for the annual Christmas culinary challenge: the family feast. However, maneuvering through the holiday table with parents requires a strategic approach to sidestep potential landmines. In this guide, we’ll humorously dissect the ten things you’d be wise to avoid during Christmas lunch or dinner, ensuring a harmonious celebration without triggering a festive fiasco.
1. Controversial Politics
Forget playing the political pundit over Christmas pudding. Keep in mind that the holiday season is not the best time to launch into a passionate debate about the latest geopolitical twists and turns. Remember, Uncle Bob’s infamous heated discussion about trade policies last year is still legendary.
2. Financial Woes
“Did you invest in crypto this year, Aunt Susan?” – a question not to be uttered during Christmas cheer. Finances are like hidden treasures—best left undisturbed during a festive feast. After all, no one wants a side of economic anxiety with their turkey.
3. Personal Weight or Appearance
Avoid transforming into the holiday fashion police. Phrases like “That third helping might not be the best idea” or “You’ve put on a few, haven’t you?” are akin to serving a dish of awkwardness. Remember, compliments are the only acceptable currency during Yuletide.
4. Unsolicited Parenting Advice
Because nothing says “Merry Christmas” like telling your cousin how they should be raising their kids. As Dr. Seuss wisely said, “Sometimes the questions are complicated, and the answers are simple. Keep your parenting advice wrapped up and under the tree.”
5. Past Relationship Histories
Introducing the ghost of ex-partners past to the festive gathering? Bah, humbug! Like Ebenezer Scrooge, keep the specters of relationships past confined to the realms of bygones.
6. Religious Debates
In the wise words of Mark Twain, “Never argue with stupid people; they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” Steer clear of theological tiffs and focus on the true meaning of Christmas: peace, love, and pudding.
7. Family Conflicts
Remember, Christmas dinner is not a UFC ring. Avoid resurrecting age-old family feuds—your Christmas turkey deserves a more pleasant fate than a side dish in a battlefield.
8. Career Critiques
“Uncle George, did you finally retire from that ‘job’ of yours?” Think twice before using Christmas as a workplace review session. Leave the career coaching for another day and spread festive cheer instead.
9. Overindulgence Commentary
“Is that your third helping, or have you lost count?” – a question best saved for the calorie counting apps. Let’s not turn the dinner table into a food tribunal. Remember, overindulgence is the true spirit of Christmas.
10. Technology Obsession
Putting away devices during the meal? Shocking, right? But as Socrates once said, “Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.” Let the smartphones hibernate while you feast and frolic.
In the spirit of merriment and perhaps while discussing about the origins of Christmas, the suggestion can be only one: let’s navigate the Christmas banquet with tact and humor. Steering clear of these potential pitfalls ensures a Christmas celebration that’s more Ho Ho Ho than uh-oh. As Will Ferrell’s character Buddy in “Elf” would say, “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” (watch all funny scenes). So, let the carols sing, the bells jingle, and the turkey roast – for a Christmas feast worth savoring!
